Monday, July 11, 2011


So, I thought at 15 weeks I'd just be coasting, right? After all, this was the point in the pregnancy with Elisa where, well, not like everything went right but the main fear of miscarriage was gone and now it was just coasting until the baby came. So what is there to worry about at 15 weeks? And I have a game plan in place. Right?

Instead, it seems like they are escalating. I'm frustrated. I can't seem to count this pregnancy down as if it's "normal." Instead, those odd milestones hit me in the face.

5 more weeks until "halfway" but really, I'm technically already halfway through Elisa's pregnancy.

9 more weeks until viability.

11 more weeks until I was admitted.

14 more weeks until I delivered.

22 more weeks until term.

24 more weeks until delivery.

As much as I try not to think about these numbers, they insinuate their way into my mind when I least expect them. Those images flash into my mind. What happened last time at this stage? Where was I? What was I doing?

I don't think it helps that the due dates between the two are just two weeks apart. So much of what I was thinking/doing/feeling was happening at just about the same time.

So I enjoy it while I can. While these thoughts are blissfully silent. I contemplate names and big girl room colors and ideas for Elisa. But I'd be lying if I said these thoughts weren't far from the forefront. I just hope and pray that they fade as time goes along.

1 comment:

Beth said...

Big Hugs. The only way over something sometimes is through it. I am sure with the due dates being so close it feels especially familiar, but you and this pregnancy are different and you are doing it! So proud and inspired by you.