Sunday, February 27, 2011


On yet another trip and I've finished my duties for the day and no one else is in town yet. And I'm bored.

So I decided to go back and look at pictures from wayyyy long ago. Well, not really that long ago because they are probably only 5-6 months old.

But I found some gems.

Like this one:

And these:

And these:

I miss my baby girl. But man these last 16 months have been some of the best in my life.

Monday, February 21, 2011

A trip down memory lane

I decided today to go back in time. Back to those weeks in the NICU. I thought I was ready, but it turns out I really wasn't. Because I wasn't really able to read the words, words that were so filled with a pain I didn't realize at the time were coming through so powerfully. But one thing stood out to me, and that was my first ever blog for preemies. In it I write "I don't see her as a "preemie" and I won't label her as one. She may have issues when she gets older because of her prematurity, but I will not allow the circumstances of her early birth to be the definition of who she is. She's just mine, and she's gorgeous."

Now, that hasn't changed. She is mine and she is gorgeous. And she is a preemie. When I wrote that, I think I considered the label "preemie" as some sort of a negative label. That to call her a preemie somehow meant she wasn't as good as other children. That somehow she wouldn't be up to snuff.

Almost 16 months later, the label "preemie" has a much different feel to it to me. It's not that I'm proud of her being a preemie in the sense that I would ever purposely try to have another preemie, nor would I ever wish to do it all over again and still have her be a preemie. But, it's sort of like the line in the preemie poem that a lot of my friends, and I, have posted:

"When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it."

Each day, each step, each milestone, each pound, each bite, each BREATH is a miracle. And I witness it EVERY day. And in THAT I guess I am proud. I am proud of what she has overcome. I am proud of how hard she's fought. I am proud that she doesn't realize just how special she is. I know. And in a very unique way.

To go from here:

to here:

I guess she's lucky. Because in many ways, she doesn't have to do much to impress me. Just by her being here impresses me. And makes me proud. Where we are now, is more than I ever imagined we would be 16 months ago. She was named the "rock star" by our nurse practitioner. I don't think there is any other nick name that would more accurately describe her. She is, truly, a rock star.



Friends of ours gave us this awesome "cozy coupe" and Elisa LOVES it. We took a nice, long walk yesterday in the gorgeous weather. Elisa even walked a fair bit herself behind the cozy coupe. Of course, she wanted to "push" it herself so had to have one hand on the bar and one hand in mine or Andrew's hand.

I just love how she is growing up. Each day is a new discovery. Each day is a new treasure.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Hand me downs

I love hand me downs. Let's be honest, they are free! Elisa has been very well dressed thanks to the multitude of hand me down clothes we've received from friends who are done having babies and have outgrown their clothes. Elisa's nursery is largely furnished with hand me downs again. And there is something that is just so special about family hand me downs with such history.

Like this one:

It was mine as a baby, and some cousin's used it as well. I was the first of the "cousin's" to have a baby and so it came back to me. I even think it was my mother's as a baby.

And this chair:

This was my grandmothers for as long as I can remember. I'm sure my mom and aunts and uncles can tell me when it came into her household, probably sometime in the 70's. Again, it doesn't match my decor...but it has such sentimental value and memories that it will NEVER get removed from my household.

And now, Elisa has inherited the kid's table. This also was mine as a child and it's funny. I remember hating it. Because when I was put at the "kid's table" I was removed from the adults. But it's my daughter's and even though it's not the prettiest table, nor does it go with my decor either. But, so many memories were created at this table.

I'm excited to see what memories we will create as our little family with this table. I'll be on the hunt for some better chairs that will tip less easily, but still. It's our table. :)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Elisa LOVES bubbles! So much so that she was walking through the house today exclaiming "bubbles!" and waiving her arms around like mad. We are working with her on putting two words together as well as asking for what she wants with words more than actions so are using the bubbles to get her to say "more bubbles!" And even add "please!" Mostly we just get a "more" or "bubbles!" But her excitement is contagious. It was so much fun watching her today as she played in the bubbles.

And on another note.. I finally have pictures of Elisa and myself...which I think this is the first time EVER I haven't been the one behind the camera. :)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Photography giveaway

So, I've entered into this photography give away by It's a Preemie Thing. They are giving away photography sessions to families of preemies! I hope I win, as we have yet to have any formal family photos done and we are almost 16 months old!

Check it out yourself! Enter if you are also the family of a preemie!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Table food!

Yup, so I finally convinced mommy to just get OVER it and let me eat what they do! See, she has control issues and the idea of letting me control how much and how long to eat has been a problem to her. So after many hours of whining and trying to convince her that I really could handle it AND still gain weight (yes, mommy STILL has issues over my weight. Again, mommy, get OVER it, I'm just little!)

So now, I'm eating like mommy. She cuts them into these really small pieces since I still don't have molars but I'm having fun with it! I've had pizza, and grilled cheese, and swiss chicken. And of course grapes (yum!), bread, cheerios and all your standard little people food.

Of course, all this messiness does lead to the obligatory bath. I do keep trying to drink the water though. This doesn't make me all that happy because, well, I don't understand portion control yet.

But I get over it fast, because really, the bubbles are fun!

And onto tomorrow! When I get to try ever new flavors and varieties of food.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Interesting statistic

At least, I found it rather interesting. Maybe because it applies to me directly.

Did you know that it costs $1,730 dollars to support continuing education for 72 health professionals in the prevention of preterm labor?

I sure didn't. And maybe if my OB had this continuing education, I wouldn't be sitting here 15 months later with a 15 month old instead of a 13 month old. But really, that is all water under the bridge and I am here. But maybe, I can help keep others from sitting in my shoes.

So I'm walking. I'm walking with your support and I'm walking in the hopes that no other family has to ever sit in my shoes. Thanks to the March of Dimes and all of their research, the rate of pre-term births has gone DOWN for the first time in a long time. In Kansas, the rate is now a C, which is down from the D of last year.

I know many of you have supported me already and I LOVE you for it. And I'm not asking for more. I'm just asking that you share. Of course I won't say no to a few more if you are interested. You can either click on the badge on the right side or follow the link here:

Share Elisa's story. Spread the word. Prematurity is a real thing. Preterm labor is REAL. It isn't just an over worked, over imaginative, over worried mother who needs to be written off and ignored. Maybe if more doctors are made aware of really what preterm labor is and the symptoms, women who present with my symptoms won't just be written off and sent home to "relax."

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Dear Elisa,

Don't ever change.

Now mommy is not so naive as to not realize that you will change as you grow and that you will mature.

But I hope that those parts of you that are so fundamental to your personality stay the same.

The little girl who loves to sing and dance and will randomly break out into song as she explores her world. Or who loves to walk in circles around the living room, randomly grab a puff from the bowl and continue on her journey.

The determination that keeps you trying until you FINALLY succeed. Even when that determination caused you to beat mommy's will to keep you cooking a little longer. That same determination made you breathe before you were supposed to.

The laughter that comes with only a glance from mommy and daddy.

The giggles when mommy and daddy play with you.

The curiosity that keeps you engaged. And yes, even when that curiosity will inevitably cause you some pain. See determination.

The spunk that makes the room light up with just your presence.

All of these qualities I hope you keep. Just looking at your beautiful face makes me smile and soothes my soul.

I love you. I love all that you are, all that you are becoming and all that you have been.