Friday, April 24, 2009

Strange Coincidence?

While I am not a real big believer in a lot of the personality tests that you find on the web or through social networking sites like Facebook, I do find myself taking a lot of them. I think it just comes from boredom and the fact that there are times when I just want to not think, like I usually have to do when I read. So, here are the results of one such personality test:

Blues are the most caring, nurturing and protective personalities in the color-spectrum. They live out of their hearts and their emotions. Their life purpose is to serve, help and love others. Blues have an inner knowledge and wisdom and they feel and know what is right without needing facts or data for substantiation. The moment they become quiet inside, they will recognize or hear an inner voice or guidance, which will tell them what to do. They can easily tune into other people and feel precisely what is going on. Blues are the most emotional of all the color personalities. They often feel lost if they don't have the opportunity to clear their way through their intense jungle of deep feelings. Helpful activities for Blues would include talking with friends about their inner life, writing a journal or just being quiet so their intense emotions can calm down.

As I read through this again today, I am just so struck with the truth to this result. Especially today. And especially recently. I have really been struggling with some intense emotions and reactions to things going on around me that I can't control. I definitely can sense the emotions of others, even if I can't tell exactly what emotion they are feeling, I can tell that they are in the grip of something or that something just isn't right. I definitely don't need facts or data for substantiation of what I believe/know. I just know and I don't question. Don't ask why, I honestly couldn't explain it to you. Kind of hard to get people to understand my POV when I can't explain why I think that way, lol. I also feel lost at the moment, because I can't seem to wade my way through this jungle of deep feelings. I can't seem to take one apart from the other in order to assess it and then "fix" it.

Anyway, just found it interesting that this one really seemed to be right on target for me. I guess sometimes they are right, huh?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Take time to...

Ever since I started working from home, I tend to have the local news on in the background. And there is one thing I've started noticing as a common theme. Time. Take time to exercise. Take time to eat healthy, etc etc. Today I found myself becoming frustrated with this. Here is a list of the items that in a typical week that I need to "take time to"

1. Exercise (2.5 hours a week)
2. Cook dinner (4 hours a week)
3. Read/engage in a daily devotional (5 chapters a day! 7 hours a week)
4. Work (40 hours a week)
5. Quality time with Andrew (5 hours a week)
6. Clean the house (2-3 hours a week)
7. Pay bills (1 hour a week)
8. Maintain the monthly budget (1 hour a week)
9. Iron clothes (1 hour a week)
10. Sleep (56 hours a week)
11. Grocery shop (1 hour a week)
12. Church (2 hours a week)
13. Band rehearsal (3 hours a week)
14. Practice (3 hours a week)
15. Bible Study (2 hours a week)
16. Accountability groups (0.5 hours a week)
17. House maintenance (1 hour a week)
18. Drive time to get to all the various places (3 hours a week)
19. Personal Hygiene (14 hours a week)
20. Eating (10.5 hours a week)
Total hours occupied: 160.5
Total hours in a week: 168
Total free hours: 7.5

Well this exercise was good for one thing. It helped me realize I have a few hours to goof off! Certainly doesn't feel that way as I'm going through the week. Now what will I do with that time?!?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


So I found a reason to be thankful. I heard of a friend of a friend, who just gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday. To have the same baby girl die, on Sunday. I can't imagine going through all that one goes through in a pregnancy, just to lose that baby on it's birthday. It was hard enough to lose my babies when I did. But right now I thank God that I did loose them at 6 weeks, rather than 40. If I had to chose between losing the baby early and losing it that far along, please let me lose it early.

I'm heartbroken for the ones who lost their baby. I really can't imagine that. Just goes to show, that nothing is ever really as it seems.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Is there ever a too much?

Sometimes I wonder, really, how much one person can take. What it is that finally pushes them over the edge and crosses that invisible line.

Once again I find myself full of inexpressible anger and sadness for my friends. Just over a year ago I had to watch my family deal with the anger and pain of a suicide. And again, I am standing on the sidelines, watching friends deal with the same thing. Again I'm between anger and tears. Feels like it just brings back all the emotions that I never dealt with when Amanda died.

Why are we so selfish? What is it about us that truly believes that we are the only one who matters. Do we truly love others? I'm beginning to think we are incapable of love. How can one profess to love another, but then put them through this kind of pain? When one harms themselves like this, they are, in effect, rejecting the ones left behind. Telling them they weren't worth living for. If you are struggling with this sort of thing, please please get help. Don't let it come to this. You may be in all sorts of pain, but it causes all sorts of pain to those left behind.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Ghost Trees

So I thought this was rather comical looking. We are heading for another freeze tonight and as my poor lilac bushes have been rather abused, I didn't want them being harmed by a hard freeze. So I covered them with sheets, held down by rocks. My neighbors think I'm nuts I'm sure.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

New Car!

Yeah, so I have no life that I'm blogging about the new car Andrew and I just came home with today. If you've been reading, then you know that our 96 Explorer kicked the bucket a few weeks ago, and we've been surviving with one car, our trusty 99 Accord with 163,000 miles. Thankfully I'm working from home now so it hasn't been too much of an issue, except for those days I did need to run some errands. We wanted to take our time, so we looked around at a few places and stumbled upon a 2005 Nissan Altima. We drove it, all looked good and drove nice, but the salesman wouldn't come down to a price we were willing to pay, so we left. He called back the next day with an even lower price. We kept looking, but ended up back again yesterday and took it home today. It is the newest and lowest mileage car I have ever owned, so I'm very excited.

Although my little Honda is still my favorite car. :) The best part is that we paid cash. The not so cool part is our savings taking a hit.