Monday, October 20, 2008

Debt go bye bye

I just wanted to say really quickly. I'm very excited. We have started the big pay off on the house, finally. Two paychecks under our belt from Andrew's teaching, and two big fat 4 digit payments on the house. It will probably take longer than our original 2 year plan to get the whole thing paid off, but it still is very nice to see that 8 turn into a 7 and into a 6 and so on.

Just for reference, here is the house as it looked when we bought it almost 3 years to date now:

And now:

Wow has that tree in front grown or what. And needs to be trimmed. Ahh well, home maintenance. Wonder if I can wait till it's paid off to worry about it? J/K! :)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Stop and listen to the music

Stop and listen to the music. It has been too long since I’ve listened to the words and melodies of many songs for the pure enjoyment of listening. Too much time has been spent “working” as I try to commit the words and melodies to memories, or trying to learn new skills, hear new things or allow my creative juices to flow. Now, while that is definitely a useful, worthwhile and enjoyable task to me, there is just something to be said about sitting back and letting it flow through you and touch your soul. Something about music tends to reach to places that you didn’t even know you had.

Being off this last week, I think I’ve realized something. As it is with the music, I’ve realized that I’ve spent so much of my time and my life trying to accomplish all the various tasks that I have on my plate. Whether it be a task for my job, cleaning my house, cooking dinner, running the various errands, working on new music, participating and worshipping at church, I’ve just been busy. I haven’t found the enjoyment from these tasks as I would have thought I should. They were just “tasks,” things to have been gotten through. I’ve read it over and over about the benefit of taking time to stop and smell the roses, but I don’t think I’ve realized really how big of a benefit there is in there. It’s also been said over and over that throughout all our busyness, we have forgotten the most important things in our lives….our families. Now, our (Andrew’s and mine) family may just really consist of each other at the moment, but we have not been giving each other the time that we really should be. I know that even if I am at home, I am still working, checking e-mail, stressing over something that I couldn’t get to – to the point that I can’t let go. That, in combination with everything else, I have managed to bring myself to the brink of complete and total emotional breakdown. I have to ask, is all this “busyness” really worth it? Am I really fulfilling my purpose for my life? If I’m not, how can I possibly expect to learn of my purpose if I’m too busy to listen to the One who gave me purpose?

In order to put things right again, I must, absolutely must, regain direction. Instead of tasks to fill up the hours, I need to be silent and hear His voice. Maybe take a walk in silence – or even with my music, as a time of pure relaxation and listening to His voice. I never feel closer to God than when I am just listening to the words He has given to others to share. I must learn to do this more often.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Bad demographic research?

Ok so here's an annoyance factor. Forgive my rant but this is just getting old for me. Just because you visit an OB-GYN does not mean you have, are, or were pregnant. So why, ever since my two failed pregnancies, have we started to receive magazines on how to raise children. The newest being Babytalk: Straight Talk for New Mom's. And not only that, but they are going addressed to Andrew? And Andrew never requested them? So what, did they see that I was visiting a doc for a pregnancy, but failed to realize that we LOST said pregnancy? So according to their records I would have a 6 month old or be 5 months pregnant?!? And besides, how would they get that information, so is this just random oh they are a 20 something couple who've been married and in a house for a few years so they MUST be trying to have children or already have children?! I dunno, but sending a magazine about raising an infant is NOT a good idea if said household has only known the sadness of a loss of pregnancy rather than the joy of a full term healthy new arrival.

Granted I'm not totally torn up by it, just annoyed. I just think what would I have felt had this come back in May of this year, or even February?! Then I totally would have lost it. Right now, I just feel a mild annoyance and as I hadn't blogged in a while, figured I should blog something and this just seemed to fit.