Post Partum Depression

One thing I have always tried to be is what my pastor calls "transparent."  I don't sugar coat.  I don't hide in this blog when I'm struggling.  I think people see that.  At least I hope you do.

I posted a few weeks back about post partum depression.  Over the weekend, a friend posted this article and I wanted to share it with you here.

http://www.preemiebabies101.com/2012/05/professional-insight-knowing-the-signs-of-postpartum-depression/

It's regarding prematurity and post partum specifically, however it has some points that I found interesting for my current bout of ppd.  I know I had some ppd with Elisa, especially after going back and reading this article, however it is no where NEAR the severity of this bout.

How do I know I am struggling with PPD?  Here is the list of things to look for from the above article:

• Insomnia or extreme fatigue (unable to get out of bed)
• Decreased or complete lack of appetite
• Feelings of guilt and/or hopelessness
• Anger or irritability
• Anxiety
• Inability (or perceived inability) to care for your child
• Decreased bonding with your child

I have every single one of these.  I think it's why I am so frustrated with Aidan and why I don't feel like I can "figure" him out.  Why it feels like we are butting heads so frequently.

I also find it interesting that gestational diabetes is linked with an increased risk of PPD.  Maybe the increased severity this time around is due to the longer I was pregnant with him and the longer I had the GD.

Who knows.  All I know is I'm tired of this and can't wait to feel better.

I AM doing something about this for those of you who are wondering.  I have already changed my meds and am looking into seeing a counselor. I do NOT take this lightly.  I will get through this too.