2 months and decisions

2 months old today!

And miracle of miracles...I managed to get pictures taken today AND post them. Wow. Maybe we ARE seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Aidan wasn't as happy with his crib today, but we did get him in twice. Actually, he did go down around 7:30 into his crib and is still in there! I'm so happy! And can't wait until we can make this a habit so Andrew and I can have our "adult" time back.

Almost getting smiles out of him now that he's no longer as fussy. He's kinda fun to be around sometimes too. :) And, we enjoyed some time in the swing today. Actually fell asleep!

Tomorrow is his 2 month check up and I am NOT looking forward to it. I know his weight will be awesome and fully expect him to have reached 11 lbs. He was 10lb 13oz on Monday, so definitely not out of the picture to be 11 by tomorrow. Plus you should SEE the rolls on this kid during his bath. It's crazy!!

But tomorrow we get our first vaccines. And this kid has FINALLY been showing us some good moods. I am not looking forward to a cranky kid again. UGH.

Getting sleepy!!

Also, I've come to sort of a "decision" with the breast feeding. I am still going to breast feed, but I am no longer going to worry about making sure I am EXCLUSIVELY breast feeding him. If I have to give him a bottle for my sanity, so be it. I'll try to pump for each bottle but I have got to take care of myself. If I run out of pumped milk, well, he will get a bottle of formula, and I will not feel guilty about it. So much of the guilt from Elisa's pregnancy and then not being able to breast feed her like I wanted is apparently lingering. I've had a few "minor" goals, and so far I've met them all. 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks and 8 weeks. Now 3 months. My ultimate goal is 6 months when I can release myself from any guilt at quitting.

Well mister is making his presence known so I had better go get him. Someday soon he'll sleep through the night, right?

Could it be?

Am I dreaming?

Twice yesterday, Aidan put himself to sleep. Not only did he put himself to sleep, but he did it in his crib.

So far, he's done it once today! And he's been sleeping for almost 2 hours?! You mean three hours between feeds??

What's different? Age? Maybe no longer in a growth spurt? I did several new things yesterday in an attempt to get him down.

1. On the suggestion of a friend, removed a layer of clothing. I left him in just a short sleeved onesie and cotton pants. I also didn't swaddle him.
2. Changed the type of pacifier.
3. Turned his fan on low over his crib so he can see it.
4. Put his black and white toy on his fan strings. It's a cutout of a face with just eyes and nose and is just black and white. He loves to stare at it when I'm burping him on the couch, where it had been stationed. Decided to try it in there.
5. Turned his radio on to a radio station.
6. Left a shirt with my scent on it in there.

Which one was the winning ticket? I have NO idea. Everything but the radio was brand new yesterday. (Tried the shirt trick before and it didn't work at all, he seemed to know it was a trick.)

So whatever it was...I'm just glad it seems to be working. And hope this trend continues...

Has it really been 8 weeks?

In all honesty, it seems like its been MUCH longer. However, we may be starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just maybe.

Recent happenings? Aidan is up to 10 lb 10 oz. He gained EIGHT ounces in FOUR days. Holy weight gain batman! Part of that may have been helped by a bottle of formula he ended up having. Why? Because I had gotten to the end of my rope with his fussiness and thought just maybe it was something I was eating. So I thought to try that to see if he responded any better and if he did I could begin the elimination to figure out what. I also was so frustrated with the way be ALWAYS eats I was halfway to quitting.

What did I learn? While giving him that bottle, I felt the best that I had in weeks. Followed by instant guilt, so much so that I about started to cry. I've just wanted to do what was best for him. I didn't want to give up so easily, like I did with Elisa.

So I went for help to a consultant, who told me that mechanically everything was perfect. He latched right, transferred wonderfully and handled the fast letdown beautifully. She said we were doing great. And those dreaded words...this too shall pass. How many times have I heard that these last 8 weeks lol! I want this "too" to have passed by now. She also told me to stop pumping as it was just stressing me out too much and to get out of the house without the kids. And I did.

End result, I received the encouragement I needed to keep going. Andrew watched both kids during the fussy hours, and got Elisa to bed on time and Aidan In the process Of being fed. And also convinced them that apparently my ppd isn't managed well enough and my doctor called to try to rework my meds lol. Dang.

Anyway, since I caved and asked for help, things have just felt all that much better. Aidan even seems less fussy. In fact, last night, we had a great family play time!

And today, Aidan has spent some time in his crib again. For the first time in several weeks. Thanks to the radio, he seems to last a bit longer. 30-45 minutes for now but hopefully that time will just get a bit longer.

So mommy and daddy got some adult time! Both kids in their respective rooms by 8. It only lasted for 30 min before Aidan asked for attention but it's more than we've had in 8 weeks lol.

So I'll sign off for tonight. Hopefully we will have a good night tonight...we all need some good rest in this house.

Good night!

I was a guest blogger. :)

Check it out.

http://quest2819.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/finding-beauty-in-holland/

No cheese!

You know you have the camera out too much when this is your child's reaction to seeing it in your hands...



We were trying to get her to sing her part of the no more monkeys song. It's the cutest thing. Whenever she climbs on the bed she starts singing "no more monkeys jumping on the bed!". And if we sing the first part with her, she will finish up on her own.



But as you can tell she's camera shy, and this is about all I could get from her. Still cute!

It's amazing to me to watch her now. I love it, yes she has her two year old tantrum moments, but for the most part she is the cutest thing ever.

Just the other day, she gave me her opinion of the bills. Took the one I was paying away from me, promptly said "this goes in the trash!" and yup, you guessed it. Threw it away. Times like that you can't help but crack up.

She's come a long way in her attitude towards Aidan as well. She will bring him a paci on our request if he's fussing. Or points out the obvious "broders crying!" but follows up with a pat on the head and "it's ok broder! Mommy's here, daddy's here."

I love two. When she's not whining or throwing a tantrum, I really do love it.

Aidan?

This is one of the few pictures I've gotten of him talking, cooing and smiling. Instead of screaming. Aidan seems to have colic/reflux or whatever you want to call it. If he's not sleeping he's eating. If he's not eating, he's screaming head splitting screams that are only relieved by eating some more.

We've put him on some reflux meds, since he will eat until he spits up and then try to eat some more. The meds seemed to have helped with that as he isn't doing that with near the frequency he was.

He still, however, will not let me put him down. He will be passed out cold and I place him in his bed. 5 min later we are screaming bloody murder and he will not go back to sleep until after his next feed. The only time I am able to put him down is when we go to bed, and then only because I caved and moved him into our room. A friend let us borrow her co-sleeper and he goes in that sometimes, but mostly his bouncy seat.

Somehow he does more than smell me right now. As all of the leaving my scent tricks in his room didn't work. He knew immediately that I was gone and calmed the second i was back.

Really, buddy?

On the upside though, he is usually only waking once a night somewhere between 1:30-3:30 and then going back down until 6-7. A few times we've lucked out with a 4-5 wake up and then not up until after 8.

Hopefully that will become the norm soon...

Second child syndrome

The second child syndrome. The one where there are hardly any pictures and the poor kid is left to cry for much longer than the first born was ever allowed.

Aidan was exactly one month old on Sunday, and in an effort to avoid as much of the second child syndrome as I could, I took some pictures of him yesterday. Just one day late!

He's still spending most of his time sleeping, but we are starting to get more and more awake times with him. I'm having a really hard time "comparing" him with Elisa and where she was developmentally at this point. I'm trying really hard to stop because there simply is NO comparison. It's funny how Elisa seems so "advanced" because by the time she was this size she was doing so much more.

Life is slowly forming some sort of "pattern" and "normalcy." Elisa accepts Aidan a bit more each day. Yesterday she actually shared her lobster beanie baby with him (a takeaway from the NICU) and the day before she gave him several kisses. Completely unprompted.

For whatever reason, she doesn't call him Aidan, but calls him "brother." It's the cutest thing.

Aidan looks so much like Elisa at this size that it's uncanny.

Elisa or Aidan?

They may look similar physically but I don't yet know if their personalities will be as similar. Elisa was very laid back as an infant, taking what came her way with hardly a hiccup. Might be able to thank her prematurity for that. Nothing seemed to really get her blood boiling.

Aidan, so far, is the opposite. Demanding, clingy and his way or the highway. Let's hope that lessens a bit as he grows or we are going to have a very interesting 18 years in this household.

The follow up to my confessions

Let's just say, mommy wins. Again. Glad I listened to my own instincts and didn't change a thing i was doing in regards to feeding Aidan.

I mean just look at that round face. You wouldn't believe the rolls. They are nothing compared to some babies but compared to his sister? And he's HEAVY. My arms are starting to have fatigue holding him.

The verdict? 8lb 6oz. 11 oz gain in the two weeks since he was last seen. They want at least 0.5 oz a day. He almost got a whole oz a day. And that was without supplementing at ALL.

See? He just had a slow start. I sure hope I don't hear anything else on his weight. He's a chunker to me. Especially when his sister has never managed to get out f single digits on the percentages. I wouldn't be surprised if Aidan weighs more than her by his first birthday.

Speaking of Elisa. Yeah. Anything that's brothers is hers. Including his bed. She got a big surprise when both Andrew and I jumped and yelled when she tried to take Aidan's blanket out from under him. She's still not sure what to make of him. Mostly she ignores him unless he's taking our attention from her. I sure hope she settles down with this territorial stuff soon. Having one child stuck to me like glue is enough. Not sure how to juggle two, both wanting to be held all.the.time.

She's not always opposed to him, though. Like here, when she showed him how the toy worked. And basically played it for him.

I know this too shall pass. Right now I'm just hoping for a two year old to stop fighting bed time and a one month old who will let me put him down in his crib at night. This mommy and daddy need some sleep.