Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Variety is the spice of life


Isn't that what's so great about humanity? That no two people are exactly alike? And isn't that something that should be celebrated, not squashed? So why does it seem that once you join the club of "motherhood" it seems like a large amount of what you see is competition and judgement. Shouldn't we all be banding together to help each other get through it all?

Personally, I like to see the variety. I learn a LOT from other mom's experiences and ways of doing things. Just because I don't DO it that way doesn't mean I don't appreciate the difference. Every mom is different. Every kid is different. Every family is different. Every situation is different. There is NO ONE WAY that works for everyone.

I guess I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that I try so hard to accept everyone where they are, how they are, for who they are but the same doesn't apply to me. I've been unfriended, bullied, ignored just because I didn't parent the way they did. Just because my experiences were different. I've been cut out, pushed aside. I try to reach out and try to offer support and help but all I hear back is "crickets."

And this isn't some assumed thought that I came up with. It isn't something I have read into. I have been told straight to my face that I was no longer wanted to be associated with because I did things differently than they did in my parenting.

Truth be told, it's their loss and I believe that. I just don't understand it. Why only band together with those "like" you? Doesn't that breed, in it's own way, isolation? A vacuum of thought? If the only people you are around think exactly like you, how are you ever going to LEARN anything about where others are coming from?

Maybe I'm just different. Well, not maybe. I KNOW I'M different. I didn't have a "normal" upbringing. I didn't have a "normal" path or even introduction to motherhood. These experiences taught me that there is nothing "normal" about life.

And I love that I'm not normal. And I celebrate the "not normal" in my children. When Elisa is charged with bringing in a picture of her as a baby, I hope she chooses one of her birth pictures. I hope she celebrates in her different start to this life. It doesn't make her LESS of a person just because she doesn't conform to the norm. I hope Aidan displays his fiery, opinionated spirit and doesn't let this world of "shut up and keep your head down" stop him.

1 comment:

Beth said...

I figure we all do the best we can, and that changes over time. I do know that its best to keep negative people and things out of my life to keep me positive. Keep up the good work!