Vacation

I really do take those...you know?  I mean, I really do.  I may not be good at taking very many of them but they do happen lol!

So this last weekend we packed up the car and I took a half day off of work (gasp!) and headed to St. Louis to see my high school best friend and, hopefully, her new baby boy.  Silly me...you know.  Women regularly go past 37 weeks in their pregnancies.  Unlike me lol.  But the trip was well worth it, even if we didn't get to meet the little guy.

Aidan drove, don'tcha know?

We spent a lot of time swimming.  (Not too many pictures of this.  I was NOT bringing my camera into that pool area lol)

And Elisa got the "royal" treatment from her brother.

And hugs from goats.

And they gave her kisses back.  (Or rather, decided her hair was tasty.)

Aidan, however, wasn't so sure of these crazy things.  I think he was remembering the last time he saw them and they chewed on his fingers. 

But after a bit, he warmed up to them and decided to "baptize" them with his bottle.  After, of course, he tried a bit for himself (UGH.)

(Aidan is chasing a goat in this one to baptize him.  I need to get more aggressive when we are in crowds, I'm always afraid to get others in the shot.  For that same reason I hardly got any pictures this weekend since we were ALWAYS in crowded areas.)

"This is fun, ma!"

We finished up the weekend by having lunch with another of our old high school friends.  You know you are getting old when you are talking about over 10 years ago and now ALL of you have kids and some of you have multiple kids!  And what a rarity to get to see two old high school friends in one weekend!  I hope to be able to do it again soon, seeing as how it's unusual for there to be so many of us in one geographical area.  But maybe we should make it a point!

Here are just some randoms.  Nothing great, I had lots of interesting lighting to work with that I couldn't quite figure out how to adjust my settings for.  And then at the petting zoo, my camera kept telling me, no matter what settings I had it on, that it was just too bright.  Not sure what that was about....Oh well.

You may be

Too busy to spend much time in my lap.  Too curious about this world you are discovering to slow down long enough for a hug.

Too concerned with everything your sister is doing that you can't to notice just what you are doing (that you didn't know you can do.)

Too curious about what you can and CAN'T shove in your mouth.  (You know.  The bird poo at the park really isn't something you should eat.)

But you know what?  I love how, through it all, you still come to me and place my hand on your cheek.  In fact, sometimes you are down right insistent on it to the point that you make me stand still for a moment.  Just so I can be with you for a moment, cradling your cheek, dimples and all, in my hand.

Thank you for being you.

Wordless Wednesday

Variety is the spice of life

Right?

Isn't that what's so great about humanity? That no two people are exactly alike? And isn't that something that should be celebrated, not squashed? So why does it seem that once you join the club of "motherhood" it seems like a large amount of what you see is competition and judgement. Shouldn't we all be banding together to help each other get through it all?

Personally, I like to see the variety. I learn a LOT from other mom's experiences and ways of doing things. Just because I don't DO it that way doesn't mean I don't appreciate the difference. Every mom is different. Every kid is different. Every family is different. Every situation is different. There is NO ONE WAY that works for everyone.

I guess I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that I try so hard to accept everyone where they are, how they are, for who they are but the same doesn't apply to me. I've been unfriended, bullied, ignored just because I didn't parent the way they did. Just because my experiences were different. I've been cut out, pushed aside. I try to reach out and try to offer support and help but all I hear back is "crickets."

And this isn't some assumed thought that I came up with. It isn't something I have read into. I have been told straight to my face that I was no longer wanted to be associated with because I did things differently than they did in my parenting.

Truth be told, it's their loss and I believe that. I just don't understand it. Why only band together with those "like" you? Doesn't that breed, in it's own way, isolation? A vacuum of thought? If the only people you are around think exactly like you, how are you ever going to LEARN anything about where others are coming from?

Maybe I'm just different. Well, not maybe. I KNOW I'M different. I didn't have a "normal" upbringing. I didn't have a "normal" path or even introduction to motherhood. These experiences taught me that there is nothing "normal" about life.

And I love that I'm not normal. And I celebrate the "not normal" in my children. When Elisa is charged with bringing in a picture of her as a baby, I hope she chooses one of her birth pictures. I hope she celebrates in her different start to this life. It doesn't make her LESS of a person just because she doesn't conform to the norm. I hope Aidan displays his fiery, opinionated spirit and doesn't let this world of "shut up and keep your head down" stop him.

The need for

Speed?

It seems life can be a blur.  Quickly moving from one day to the next.  One moment to the next.

There just isn't enough time in the day to capture it all.  Between work, caring for family, taking care of the myriad tasks to do around the house, trying to be PRESENT, and trying to capture it all on film, it seems something always falls to the wayside.

And honestly I don't even know where I'm going with this any more.  It started out pretty introspective.  An internal dialog trying to encompass just how much there is to life and just how fast it goes by.  You know, the normal stuff of a mom trying to deal with life with two children 3 and under, and working.

The reminder to be present.

But you know what? The only thing I could think, or even plea, in my exhausted state is that I just want to enjoy my children. I don't want to spend my limited time with them annoyed with the whining, bossiness, constant changing of minds and the fits that result from NOT giving them that hot dog after they asked for a grilled cheese and you made it and then they refuse to eat it. I just want to play with them without being bitten, and squashed, and jumped on. Is it me? Are my expectations too high?

Honestly, I don't know. All I can do is try keep moving forward and keep trying. Look for those little moments. When they randomly ask for some hugs. When they give you slobbery kisses on your nose. Or blow raspberries on your belly.