Saturday, November 6, 2010

"Normal" baby

Define this. What is a "normal" baby?

For us, this was "normal." What does it mean to have a baby and leave the hospital a few days later? We don't know. We know wires, and tubes, and IV's in our head. We know a baby who struggled and fought to live long before she was supposed to.

This morning, I was doing my normal morning read through of all the blogs I follow and found myself almost offended. One mom who had a micro-preemie (25 weeker) was asked again when her baby will be a "normal" baby.

And it angered me that she was asked that. Her child is doing beautifully for what she had to go through in the beginning of her life. And it got me thinking. When did the skills of our children become a competition? The concept of these milestones, that are drilled into many new parents, but that are pushed even harder onto preemie parents. They have there good points, in that they can help us know when a child will need some extra help. But it just seems like it's become some sort of "bragging" point for many.

I can't say I'm immune. I've rejoiced when Elisa has met and exceeded a milestone on actual age. And I've lamented and been "embarrassed" when she's fallen far behind.

And this preemie mom's response to the question when posed to her was "I don't know, I just accept her for who she is." Wow, what a beautiful response. And isn't that where we all should be? I know I've made some strides in this. I can't tell you anymore where on the adjusted vs actual age scale Elisa is. And to be honest, I don't care. She's healthy. She's making progress. She's mine and she's perfect just the way she is.


Beth said...

WOW... you made me cry. You really read and get me, thanks for the support.

Beth said...

Man, you made my night. You really get what I am talking about, thanks for reading and understanding.