Monday, April 5, 2010

Grieving my pregnancy

So, something a friend said on my preemie parenting board struck home with me this weekend. We were discussing flashbacks that many of us seem to be struggling with, even though our little ones are home safe and sound and relatively healthy. She commented that we really are grieving our pregnancies.

A quick google of the stages of grief gave me 5 stages:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

So I started thinking, where am I in this process? I think I skipped 1 and 3, as I remember being angry, but I couldn't deny where I was or what had happened, and I don't remember bargaining either. I know that now, I'm at #4. And I've been here for a while. Maybe this will be the longest stage? I don't know.

But my friend was right. I may have my little girl, but I am really grieving my pregnancy. I didn't get the excitement. It ended so suddenly. With a positive outcome. But I still missed out on all the fun times of a pregnancy. I pray that one day I will experience the fun side as well.

Anyway, I'm not really sad or anything right now. We had a GREAT weekend. Lots of time with friends and family. We got to see our Uncle Joey for the first time. And I think we were confused by this person who looked just like Daddy but didn't sound or smell like him. But in the end, we charmed him and he charmed us so it was all good.

Look at those rolls on her arms! I LOVE seeing her with that baby fat.

1 comment:

Becky said...

Thank you for posting the stages. I actually was going to look that up this weekend! I think right now I'm sitting somewhere between 4 and 5, although when we went through ear infection hell I think I slipped to 3.

I think blogging will help personally - its like free therapy - or at least it is for me.

Elisa is really alert looking! Between this photo and her tummy time photo in the banner, she looks great!!!

I hope you guys had a happy easter!