Daddy's turn!

So Elisa has been under the billirubin lights for about 2 days now, but in talking with the nurse practitioner in charge of her care, her numbers are borderline and she feels she will most likely be able to come off the lights. She is still doing excellent, although she did have one instance of brady while we were in the room. But she also corrected herself, so that's good.

Long and short of it is, I was able to change her diaper and give her a quick sponge bath. And then, it was Andrew's turn to hold her! After a few initial moments of wait, who are you, and her looking up at him, she calmed down. She recognized him at this point, and settled down to sleep. I was able to give her a little food in her feeding tube and she's been sleeping ever since. Here's a photo of her recognition:

Welcome Elisa Grace - the birth story

Sooooo...

Not only is she a drama queen, but she's impatient and has a mind of her own. As you read, on Monday I was moved back down to L&D as I was having contractions overnight and I also had an increase in labor symptoms. They wanted me to be monitored for 24 hours a day instead of the 2 hours a day they normally do in antepartum. We got a great nurse our first day down there and when we were talking with her about our frustration with the whole doctor shuffle and each one having a different plan of action and attempting to talk me out of the terb pump, etc etc, she managed to work it out that the doc who put me on the terb pump (who is also the one that all of the nurses I've spoken with absolutely LOVE) was my "main" doc and any change in plan for my care would have to go through him first. I was ecstatic. He wanted to check me again as he had a couple of ideas of how to prolong my pregnancy but first needed to see where I was and where the baby was. So he checked, and baby was footling breech again, but he also disagreed with the 6cm that had sent me back down to L&D but felt I was more 4cm. Again with the cervix moving backwards! He also increased the terb as I was still having breakthrough contractions and irritability.

But as the day continued, the terb, even at the increased value, was not stopping things. So he decided to put me back on the mag, even though it had given me a pulmonary edema before. They put me on a lower dose and watched my breathing and lungs very very closely. I also was diligent at doing my breathing exercises. After the first initial doses, I finally quieted down. He had considered moving me up to a higher dose, but after seeing how quiet I became with the smaller dose, he didn't want to increase my risk of the edema. The terb was still on at this point just to provide that extra oomph to help keep me quiet. I was not too concerned at this point, I felt very much like this doctor was going to do all in his power to keep me pregnant as long as he could. He also moved my ultrasound up from November 5th to October 30th as that would have been 3 weeks exactly after the first one! Just so I could see her again and check her size as I knew things were getting close.

Overnight on Tuesday, I began again to have periods of 10 contractions an hour and then down to almost no contractions an hour. The next morning, they took the terb pump out as it also increased my risk of an edema and the doctor knew my body had built up a tolerance for it. The mag was still doing a decent job of calming things down as my periods of lots of contractions weren't that frequent. They also started a motrin regimen as it can help to calm the uterus.

Tuesday went on, but as it did, things began to accelerate. I'd have periods of 6-9 contractions an hour followed by periods of 2-3. They gave me the first dose of a second round of steroids, as there is significant research out there to show that babies who have two rounds of steroids within two weeks in a pre-term labor situation do much better than those who don't. The goal was to get me to atleast Friday so I'd be in the steroid window. They also kept giving me medications, boosts of terb, and something else that I can't remember to calm the uterus down. It would work for a while, but then they'd pick back up. I wasn't too concerned as things didn't seem too bad. Andrew called around 2 Phoenix time, I believe. Here is where things start to get a bit fuzzy. All seemed to be going well, so we told him that and the update and all of that.

3 pm came and suddenly I started feeling lots of cramping and rolling around. I thought that gas had become unbearable and that I was constipated, as I hadn't been to the bathroom for that purpose in 2 days. So I asked for a suppository, thinking that would stop the cramping. The pain was so severe that I was unable to breathe through a few of the contractions. The nurse was in there trying to coach me to keep breathing. The suppository kicked in so I went to the bathroom and when I was done, I noticed that I felt something "down there." At this point, I knew it wasn't good. So we called the nurse back in who called the doctor. They examined me and found I was now 7cm, baby had dropped. With her being so small and me being so dialated, we were now in a situation where she could get her legs stuck down there or her cord could come through and get crimped and she could suffocate. Our only option for her survival was to deliver her immediately, by c-section.

So we had to call Andrew and tell him this. Andrew began a flurry of activity to get here to Phoenix, everything from finding a flight out that night to driving. Thanks to the wonderful generosity of one of his students parents, he was able to fly out first thing Thursday morning. Anyway, this was around 4 pm Phoenix time and things were flying. Nurses coming in and out preparing things, anesthesiologists advising me on spinal blocks, doctors checking things out, preparing the operating room. Of course the contractions are continuing and I'm miserable and seriously at the point of just wanting this to be over. They roll me down to the operating room and I can hardly move. They move me onto the table and I still can hardly move. The pain was just that bad. I could hardly breathe and hardly move. Finally got the epidural in and just things are fuzzy from here. I know mom was in the room with me, I know I felt like I couldn't breathe. I could feel them pulling and tugging at my tummy. It was the oddest sensation. I swear it felt like an hour, but couldn't have been more than 10 minutes when I heard the doctors go "It's a girl and she's big!" They called out the time of 5:06 pm.

Then you wait to hear that first cry of your baby. It never came. I just remember, though, having this incredible peace, I just knew she was ok. Mom couldn't see anything as there was a swarm of doctors and nurses around her, working on her. I kept asking, is she ok, what's going on, and no one would answer me of the medical staff. Mom couldn't see from where she was. She asked if she could go over and check her out and was given permission. So she did. She still couldn't see much but could see that she was pink, meaning she had plenty of oxygen. She also didn't sense a rushing/panic from the medical staff around her, which told her that things were fine and they were just assessing. I don't know how long it was, but they were finally wheeling her by me and stopped so I could see her while they were still sewing me up. She was 2 lbs 13 oz and 15 inches long. I don't know how long it took, but she received an apgar score of 8. She also didn't cry in the beginning because they pretty much grabbed her and put her on a ventilator immediately and gave her surfactant. Turns out she didn't need the ventilator. I don't know when they took it out but they did tell me in the operating room that she was breathing on her own. Mom had to go with her to the NICU as for some reason they didn't want her staying with me, even though I wanted her with me, lol. I knew Elisa was ok so didn't need her to follow the NICU team. But the medical staff insisted, so off she went.

I was sent into the recovery room where I stayed for an hour and was finally moved up to post partum. The room I ended up in is the room right next door to where I spent the last week and a half, lol. It's also closer to the NICU which is why they chose to send me here. They wouldn't let me out of bed until 4 hours post op in the post partum room (which technically was 5 hours post op...would have been around midnight) in order to see her. But I was bound and determined. I couldn't see her at all really lying prone on the operating table. Mom had taken pictures, but still, it's not the same as seeing HER.

At 10:30, 2 hours before my official "release time" the nurses gave me permission to go see her! So mom and I walked (well, I was wheeled) down to the NICU and on we went. All I could think was how gorgeous and how big she was. I was in awe of her breathing on her own and just how excellent she was doing.

Andrew arrived early Thursday morning and we immediately went down to see her. She was still doing excellent. Even her second day of life, she's doing wonderfully. She is breathing room air with the help of flow, no oxygen. She is now under the billirubin lights due to some jaundice.

I did end up overdoing it yesterday and managed to give myself a fever and a high high pain number. So it did mean I haven't been able to see her today. But if I remain fever free for 24 hours, I can go see her tomorrow. So far, I've been good, and resting much more today. I walk after I take the pain meds. I should be discharged on Sunday.

So meet Elisa Grace:




Less than an hour after birth.



Mommy's first touch and view.



Daddy's first touch and view.



Elisa Grace, born 10/28 at 5:06 pm at Banner Good Samaritan Hospital. 2 lbs 13 oz, 15 inches long. I can't wait to take you home and watch you grow up.

More drama

Ugh, this kid is going to be a drama queen!

So it's been a rough few days/hours whatever. Sunday, the doctor came in and begin pushing even harder than some of the others to stop the terbutilene pump. He gave me quite a few scare reasons to stop it and stated that there is no proof that it actually works. He asked me to think about stopping the terb and going with out any anti contraction meds. Well this was like asking me to deliver now! I realize that while, maybe it's not stopping the contractions, it makes ME think it IS. And in many ways, that's worth more than the medicine itself. SO this really shook me up and stressed me out. That, with the combination of missing Andrew and just this utter feeling of lack of control over the situation I am in put me into a fit of depression. Monitoring I think went ok last night. Might have been one or two contractions but nothing worrisome. I took my meds and went to bed. Woke up around 1:30 am and thought, hmm, that feels like contractions? So I called the nurse in and she put me back on the monitor. Sure enough, I had 3 episodes of "irritability" on my monitor so they triggered the terb pump for a demand dose. After about 30 minutes it calmed then down and I dozed back off. Woke up again around 6 am and they had started again. This time I had 3 in 15 minutes. So the nurse triggered the pump again and they calmed down.

So I began my day sleep deprived and still a little stressed out. Doctor came in later in the afternoon, a different one than yesterday, and again attempted to talk me out of the terb pump. They insist my diabetes blood sugar readings are too high. Gave me a whole lot more scare stories, but Andrew and I discussed last night that we were going to stay on the terb, and if the diabetes got worse, re-evaluate then. In the course of the discussion I did mention some additional symptoms I was having and the doctor became concerned that my cervix was changing. So he decided to do a check. Sure enough, I am now 5 cm dialated. I hadn't had but a few odd contractions all day but they put me back on the monitor. I had none, not even any irritability. Also, in my morning monitoring I had none. I feel like I'm having some, but there wasn't anything showing up on the monitor, so who knows. Anyway, they aren't entirely concerned as I really am having none of the other symptoms. So we are back in a wait and see pattern and I most likely will NOT be released at 32 weeks now, if I make it that far.

The "good" news is that I've made it past 28 weeks. That is a huge milestone as far as preemies are concerned and the baby has a good, good chance if she were to come now. Every day past 28 weeks is considered "bonus" days. It means one less week in the NICU. Tomorrow is 29 weeks. Even better. Only three weeks to go until 32 weeks. There is still a chance...

2 more days down!

And one was eventful and one wasn't!

Friday, they started me on this glibutribe or something like that. I've not actually seen the medication's name and that's what it sounds like, lol. It's supposed to control my "high" blood sugar. And I've been high, yes, but not out of control high, so I was opposed to it. They gave me two options, stop the terbutilene pump and go to another form of contraction control or start on this diabetic drug. As I was NOT stopping the terb, I opted for the diabetic drug. I did ask for a second opinion, but the original doctor did come back in and explain their reasoning for believing I needed to be on this drug, so I reluctantly agreed. My highest reading up to this point was 168. They shoot for 140 and below, optimally 120. All but 4 of the 12 readings I'd had up to this point were below 140. My reading the first day, after the first meal, on this drug? 231. I was livid. And yes, I actually threw a fit. I know that will surprise some of you but I really can put my foot down when I feel it's justified, lol. So they agreed to let me have my "experiment" which was to have another day w/o the diabetic drug and see what my sugars did on their own. I'll get to more of that in a moment.

Later on Friday, I began to feel a few contractions. As it was time for the nightly monitoring anyway, I called the nurse in and they began the monitoring then. Shrimp did well, thankfully, but I apparently had 6 contractions in that one hour (which I didn't feel but for 2) so they gave me a demand dose of the terb. 1 hour later I was still having 6 contractions in an hour. All of them were random, no pattern to it, so while they were concerning, they weren't that big of a problem. But they dosed me with terb again and started an IV thinking maybe I was dehydrated. Did the trick. I stopped with the addition of the IV fluids. I asked the doc how much water I should be drinking as I was having 60+ oz a day, and apparently I need to have 90+. I've had 120 or there abouts today, and I can tell you, I do notice a difference. I did not realize I was that dehydrated.

This morning I woke up and was able to begin my experiment. My first reading after breakfast...175, and lunch was 151. Neither were all that good but dinners was 125! So it's gone down all day. The doctor did, however, "inform" me this morning that they were allowing me this experiment but I "will" be going back on the diabetic drug tomorrow. I didn't say really anything but thought to myself "whatever." I see two doctors a day, a resident in the morning and an attending in the afternoon. The attending came by later in the day and neither advocated for or against the diabetic drug, but did give me the 140 or below number. I think he thought I was of the impression that I wasn't getting good care because he was very concerned with letting me know they were only doing what was best for me. I assured him I was not in anyway upset with their care for me. He has me pegged though. He's like, you are in a situation you can't control and it is driving you nuts, isn't it? Umm, well, ummm, maybe? Dang, didn't think I was that transparent! Anyway, he was nothing but complimentary of me and my attitude throughout all of this, especially given the extremely unique circumstances I'm in and the very rough beginning we had. He said every day that goes by with no issues increases my chances of getting to full term. And he said that he would not have considered the contractions (they call the recording of everything your "strip") on my strip to be as concerning as they thought last night. He said he would have "tolerated" them as they really weren't as dangerous as they were made out to be.

So I now have 24 more days to go till 32 weeks. Shrimp is still baking. And yes, I will still call her Shrimp, even if it is a her. She was Shrimp before we knew if she was a boy or a girl and she will be Shrimp until the day I die, lol.

Today's update

Are y'all tired of me yet? I figure I have enough time now to actually update this thing, lol. So I may as well.

Not too much to update today. Doc came and talked to me and said they wanted to place me on a diabetic drug. I don't remember the name. She said it was because my sugar levels were consistently getting worse. But in reality, I've only been over 160 three times since they've tested me. The rest have been 140 and below. And they really just want to see it at 140. They also wanted me to consider stopping the terbutilene to correct the problem and go to another, oral, anti-contraction drug. But my thoughts are...why rock the boat? The terb is working and the diabetes is NOT that bad. In face my last two readings today have been in the low 120's!! Which is just high normal. So that totally refutes the docs statement that the sugar levels are getting worse.

Also, I had a few contractions start up for a little bit again today. Really not contractions, but irritability. So I got an extra monitoring. But it stopped on it's own after about 30 min. And Shrimp didn't behave this morning in her monitoring and had what I thought were too many decels lasting too long. But the nurse explained they weren't as long as I thought and were in fact in normal ranges (never went below 120 but for once). Of course nervous mom doesn't feel the same way.

And, my uncle from Michigan showed up unexpectedly! Here I am just working away this morning, the door opens and I look up to see my uncle and my mind just can't make the connection, lol. It was too early in the morning. He is in Tuscon for business and had free morning so decided to take a trip up to see me. It was definitely a welcome intrusion!!

So anyway, I'll head to bed I think. Atleast do some reading and wait for my evening monitoring and then bedtime. And then it's Friday and then Saturday! Not that it matters as not that it changes much for me, lol. I'll still get woken at 6am by the med student for my morning check up.

Things you learn...

1. Hubby means more and provides more comfort than you even realize. Now that Andrew's headed home, I find myself much more nervous, sad, and less confident. Don't know if that's from just being sad that he's gone, or if his presence really does calm me down.

2. Hearing other women complain about how much longer they have till they deliver is kinda annoying. They don't know how well they have it. I'd much rather be in their shoes.

3. PMA can make all the difference.

4. You can do a lot more than you think when you really put your mind to it.

Anyway, as if you can't tell, my mood is a little somber today. Hopefully after a few days I'll re-adjust to not having Andrew here and I'll get back to my relaxed, happy mood.

Yay! A new milestone

28 weeks today! Only 28 more days to go until 32 weeks. Doctors are still talking about releasing me at 32 weeks if I am still stable and things still look good. I will, however, not go off of the Terbutiline (thought it was Tributilene, but I've been corrected! :-D) pump as I originally thought. They will keep me on that. I've already developed the gestational diabetes that's a side effect of the pump. My lungs and heart are holding up well, so I don't seem to be having any of those ill effects. And doc even said today that I have a 50% chance of going full term! Not great odds, but still rather good odds! He said I'm stubborn enough to make it happen, lol. Everyone loves what we've done with the room by making it look like "home." Shrimp has also calmed down in her monitoring. We've had 4 successful monitorings where she has stayed off of her cord. She still hates the monitoring. Put up with it rather well this morning until the last 5 minutes when she just went spastic on trying to get it off of her.

So all is looking good. Our little miracle is still cooking. We have the medical staff boggled trying to figure out HOW the cervix went backwards. Of course, we know how, but the medical staff seems unwilling to accept our explanation, lol. They were still discussing my case over the weekend, analyzing, etc.

So where is Shrimp at 28 weeks:

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can open and close her eyes, which now sport lashes. This movement is more of a reflexive blink than a deliberate opening and closing, but it won't be long before she's batting those beauties at you.

Bye for now!