Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A letter to my son

Dear A,

I wanted to write to you as there has been so much attention paid to your sister recently.

Call it mommy guilt maybe.  But sometimes I think your sister gets more than her fair share of the attention.  She's not only the first grandchild...but the first girl.  But I don't ever want you to think you aren't loved.  Because oh, you are.  So much.

Our beginning together wasn't so good.  I had a rather hard time adjusting to you in our lives.  I couldn't see YOU through the illness and your colic was so bad.  And I was just so sick.  I didn't know it at the time, but it's so obvious looking back at it now.

But as you grow...I've fallen so much in love with you.  That doesn't mean there aren't moments when you frustrate the heck out of me.  But oh, that love is so overwhelming that it makes up for it.

I love how you are finding your "voice."  And that tiny voice that comes out of such a "big" boy.  Saying "uh-oh" when a monster truck flips over, or mommy and daddy drop something.  Your excited exclamations of "mommy!" or "daddy!" when you see one.  Calling out "Eeda!" when you want your sisters attention.

You frequently hand out hugs, just for no reason.  You crawl into my lap just to be close to me.  You hold my hand while you walk.  You try to share your paci's, toys, food, with me.  You are ever so interested in my camera.  You are my little shadow and want to be wherever I am.

I love you baby boy, and I can't imagine my life without you.

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