Thursday, April 12, 2012

Blessings in disguise

There's a song that was rather popular last year among my circle. You may have heard it, you may not of. But it was Laura Story's "Blessings." And it brings up a very interesting point.

"'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"

I've been thinking a lot about this concept lately. In many ways, having Elisa as my first has turned into a huge blessing in disguise.

How, you may ask?

Well, watch this video.

At the surface, it's just a video of Aidan playing and reaching and grasping the toys on his activity mat at the mere age of 4 months.

Why is that so, for lack of a better word, amazing? Or even surprising? Or even noteworthy?

Because this child never did.

I've asked around even for sanity checks...and others who watched her as a much smaller baby have said the same thing.

She never did.

And looking at Aidan now and back at Elisa then I can clearly see just how much my head was in the sand.

I mean, I knew she was delayed. I was already getting her help because I knew she would need it. For crying out loud she had 11 weeks of development that she had to do outside of the womb. What child wouldn't be behind in motor skills or other skills? She had to figure out how to breathe and eat far before she should have.

Seeing a child develop normally is showing me just how NOT normally Elisa developed.

But because I didn't know any better. Because I stopped reading the "what to expect" books shortly after she came home. Because I relied on the therapists who were seeing her weekly to tell me if there was a problem, I was able to accept her for who she was and where she was, instead of falling into the trap so many parents fall into of comparing their children. And I didn't stress near as much as I would have had I been as aware of where she should of been, and where she wasn't.

Unfortunately, her prematurity will follow her for the rest of her life. She may be caught up now, but that doesn't mean problems won't develop later on in life. She will always be watched for later issues or delays.

But to me, she's perfect just the way she is.

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