Thursday, November 3, 2011

32 weeks

...What if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
Laura Story "Blessings"

I was listening to this song the other day on the way to receive one of the final p17 shots of this pregnancy. And during it, I could actually envision and HEAR the cry of my newborn child. Hear it. Oh to just go through a delivery and actually hear that first cry as my child breaths in it's first breath in this world would be heaven.

And it dawned on me a little bit. "What if the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?" Would I appreciate that sound as much if I had the honor of hearing it when Elisa was born? And the reality is, even if I do go here pretty soon, 32 weeks is lung maturity so the likelihood of hearing that first cry from this point out is pretty high.

I wanted to just bawl. Darn hormones, but I did. The idea of hearing that first cry is so amazing to me. Everything we went through with Elisa, maybe it makes me all that much more grateful for the milestones I am now reaching with this one.

Not that I'll love this one any more than I do Elisa. In fact, Elisa will always ALWAYS have a special place in my heart just because of how hard we fought for her.

But I love that I am now 32 weeks pregnant with this one. That this now means lung maturity. That this now means only 2 weeks until even suck, swallow, breathe is developed. And then, all that's left is all of the brain development and weight. It seems the further I get, the more I can believe I'll make it. Even if I always have that door open in the back of my mind that says ANYTHING could happen at anytime. Honestly, I'd be naive to think it couldn't. Even if I didn't have a previous pre-term delivery, it could still happen at anytime. 9 months of pregnancy is not a given for anyone.

"By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth."

Tuesday was our hospital pre-delivery tour and I'm so glad I went. I did get all those questions answered that I needed to know. Like, baby will stay with me in recovery! May spend an hour or so in the nursery but basically I'll have baby in recovery. I'll be able to receive guests once I'm in the post-partum room. And again, baby stays with me. Wow, what a concept. They did tell me that they normally keep c-sections bed bound for 24 hours post op and I just laughed. I told her I was up 5 hours after Elisa was born and walking laps around the nurses station. Since that's what I had to do to go see her. So I'll probably do the same this time around. They also now know NOT to give me vicodin or hydrocodone. I will refuse it adamantly.

So, here we are. 5 weeks from that blessed term date.

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