Thursday, July 29, 2010

The good....and the bad


We had our nine month check up today...complete with shots and a blood draw. I don't know who was more traumatized. Andrew and I or Elisa. She recovered much faster than we did LOL.

So the good:

We are 14 lbs 11.5 oz. So just a few short ounces shy of 15 lbs. Not exactly my goal (15 lbs was what I wanted) but an EXCELLENT weight gain none the less. We are in the 1% of 9 month olds for weight and 13% for height. We are 26 1/4 inches long. Wow. Long and lean! Doctor was thrilled with that! And after having the anemia of prematurity, our iron levels were 39! So still good.

The bad:

Well. I had to answer "no" to a lot of the nurses developmental questions. Was she sitting unassisted? No, not really. Was she crawling? No. Was she clapping? No. Doc again mentioned physical therapy and was happy we were in the first steps program already. But she felt she wasn't meeting really enough of the milestones they would have wanted even a 6 mo old to meet. The sitting and crawling was really the main concerns. So [insert preemie mom guilt here]. I think I felt the worst. Andrew, the typical guy was like, we already knew she wasn't doing these things and we are already getting help. Me? I went, just another way I've failed her. I admit, I bawled. Not a good time to be late on my medications lol. But while I was crying, Elisa kept looking up at me with this look of "what, ma? I'm ok. There's no need to cry."

So, still waiting to hear from our physical therapist to get the actual therapy under way. We will continue with the other therapy (I think it's instructional therapy) as well.

Someday I will be over this.


Becky said...

Major Major Major Hugs. I think all doctors who deal with preemies need special sensitivity training. I can't imagine what your going through or the guilt, because everyone's is so different. But man you are a damn good mom (pardon my language) and she will catch up . She gets a 2 year pass remember. Remind the doctors of that. But long and lean kids rock!

Beth said...

Oh, it is so hard. I did the same thing after a feeding therapy the other day. Obviously I know and admit we have a problem, that is why we go to the therapy. But then when they told me that she is struggling because of everything she has had done to her face with a long NICU stay, and all the trying to make her gain... how much more guilt can a mom take. Remember you aren't alone, us preemie parents work for every skill that they get. You are doing great.

Beth said...

It is so hard. I felt the same way the other day as we struggled through a feeding therapy. Where I was informed that my daughter struggles because of her long NICU stay and all we've put her through. Thanks, I need some more guilt. Our little preemies really fight for every little victory and it is so challenging. Big hug.