So...

I've made a decision.

As you could tell from my last post, I've been dealing with a lot of "guilt" and feelings of "failure." Part of that is driven by the fact that I was having trouble with the whole breast feeding thing. I so desperately wanted to breast feed, and we were doing a GREAT job. But, I was unable to get enough extra to support her for when I travel. And with a trip coming up at the end of March, I was seriously stressing myself out.

So, I compromised. I've gone to expressly pumping, like I did in the NICU. And I'm LOVING it. More than I thought I would. Because now, I can leave her for longer periods of time. Someone else can feed her. Andrew can help more. AND I'm able to control how much she's getting and she's going longer periods between feeds. And I've been able to store some away. I've also been mixing it with an ounce or two of formula to help it go further, but since she had to have the supplement bottles anyway for the added calories, that isn't too much of a change. So she's still getting the benefits of breast milk, and I get the freedom to be able to do more.

I do miss the bonding of the actual breast feeding part. But I'm much happier this way, and by that, I think she will be much happier as well.

And I think this weekend, the nursery will FINALLY be done! :) I'll post pics when it is.