Pooting

I was forwarded this e-mail today that brought back a whole host of memories and I just had to share.

As a background, so you understand why this is so amusing, when Elisa was about 5 weeks old and learning to feed from the bottle, we noticed a very peculiar character trait. Elisa was NOT a lady. She could fart and belch with the best of them. In fact, I had sent a random text to a friend of mine, simply stating that "my daughter farts like a man." I don't know if this friend has yet to recover from falling off his chair from that one. Anyway, we noticed this one day while changing her diaper, and I lifted her little legs and she let...one...RIP. It was loud enough to echo across the hall. My mother and I died laughing. (The NICU is a very stressful place...you learn to find humor where you can and as childish as this was, it was the funniest thing we had seen in a while.) I decided I wanted to play Jingle Bells with her poots as they were loud enough and long enough to do so. We even coined a song:

"I'm a little pooter,
Short and stout,
Here is my pooter,
Here is my snout" or something like that.

Along with this propensity to poot, she was figuring out this whole suck, swallow, breathe skill. She was figuring it out so well, in fact, that she decided she did NOT want to stop for anything, not even to burp. So she'd be sucking, swallow, suck suck, swallow BUUUUUUURP, suck suck swallow. And it was the loudest belch I've heard to this day.

Now that she's out of the hospital and is home, she still enjoys her poots. I can hear her at night, over the monitor, trying to get a particularly large one out. She moans, she groans, she bears down, you hear PFFFFFFFFFFFT and then she gives a particularly loud sigh of satisfaction, complete with "ahhhhhhh." She immediately goes back to sleep. I can't tell you how many times I've almost fallen off the bed in laughter listening to this. She will even lift her little leg herself and let one rip as you are holding her during the day.

Elisa is SO not a lady.

So, this will be Elisa in several years:

Maxine's Starbuck's Saga

I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my Latte and then noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

So...should I save this story for her wedding day?

I love you baby! You have provided nothing but endless entertainment for your short 3 months of life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world!