Oh crappy day!

Well from one extreme to the other isn't it? Almost feels like there must be something to counteract everything. So for every good there is a bad? Had my post op appointment today and it turns out I have Stage IV endo. Doc said that means it's been growing in there for 7-10 YEARS. Years! That means it more than likely began growing when I became very ill back in 2000. Coincidence? Hmmm. I think NOT. Basically that tells me that the doctors before really weren't listening to me. Stress causing it, yeah right. Someone tell me please why it had to take 8 years and two miscarriages before the REAL reason for my stomach/weight issues to be discovered?

So what does Stage IV endo mean? I'm not entirely sure as I have adamantly refused to google it. I haven't wanted to know. Too much of the information out on the internet tends to be bad news and I just can't bear to look at it that way. All I know is that it was all over everything. Pelvic floor, uterus (both inside and out), probably bladder and intestines (hence the STOMACH/DIGESTION problems), one of my ovaries was just covered in it. It is unequivocally the reason for my miscarriages. Hands down. It caused the poor egg quality, it hindered the progesterone development. It probably was the cause of my extremely irregular cycles.

So where to from here? Doc lasered out as much of the endo as he could during the surgery. He has placed me on pseudo-menopause until December, which will starve out/kill any remaining endo he couldn't get to. Then we have to get pregnant FAST. We have about 6 months before the endo starts growing back. After birth - I have to go on the pill that only allows 3 cycles a YEAR. Then get pregnant fast again. Thing is, with the drug regimen the doc is putting me on - I have an increased risk for multiples. So that thing I had growing up about always wanting TWINS? Well it's a real possibility now. Funny how these things work out, huh?

So mostly, I think I'm ok. A bit frustrated that the wait is going to have to be so long. I want it and I want it now on some things. Mostly angry that all these things were related - that I can pretty much deduce that this all STARTED back in January 2000 when I first became ill and I had to FIGHT that doc to even consider that something more was wrong with me than just STRESS. 3 months and 20 lbs and a little internal bleeding later - oh I guess something WAS wrong. What is wrong, oh I dunno?! I've heard it said that's why it's called a medical practice but why do I have to be the guinea pig? Grr. On the positive side, doc seems pretty confident that I'll be pregnant by March of 09. December seems a popular month for milestones in my life.