A letter to my son

Dear A,

I wanted to write to you as there has been so much attention paid to your sister recently.

Call it mommy guilt maybe.  But sometimes I think your sister gets more than her fair share of the attention.  She's not only the first grandchild...but the first girl.  But I don't ever want you to think you aren't loved.  Because oh, you are.  So much.

Our beginning together wasn't so good.  I had a rather hard time adjusting to you in our lives.  I couldn't see YOU through the illness and your colic was so bad.  And I was just so sick.  I didn't know it at the time, but it's so obvious looking back at it now.

But as you grow...I've fallen so much in love with you.  That doesn't mean there aren't moments when you frustrate the heck out of me.  But oh, that love is so overwhelming that it makes up for it.

I love how you are finding your "voice."  And that tiny voice that comes out of such a "big" boy.  Saying "uh-oh" when a monster truck flips over, or mommy and daddy drop something.  Your excited exclamations of "mommy!" or "daddy!" when you see one.  Calling out "Eeda!" when you want your sisters attention.

You frequently hand out hugs, just for no reason.  You crawl into my lap just to be close to me.  You hold my hand while you walk.  You try to share your paci's, toys, food, with me.  You are ever so interested in my camera.  You are my little shadow and want to be wherever I am.

I love you baby boy, and I can't imagine my life without you.

Letters to Our Daughter - September 15, 2013

Dear E,

So today kind of crept up on me.

You see, it's so hard to believe where we are.

4 years ago, I finally made one of the "final" milestones I was looking for with you.  You were viable.  If things went wrong now, I knew you'd have a good chance to live.  Wouldn't be the best odds...but at least you'd live.

Because after having lost two before you...I never believed I'd have you too.

And then...then you came.  So early and so small and I didn't know if I'd ever see the day that you'd walk.  Or talk.

Or go to school.

I worried.  As all moms do.  I wasn't sure you were ready.  You were excited and held no such qualms.  Didn't even notice when we left the room.

Your day must have been ok.  You didn't say much about it when you came home and you readily went back the next time.  I didn't get a call from the teacher (which I thoroughly expected.  Since, you know, you are so nice to your brother.)

You've had many firsts so far.  And many more to come.  And I'm excited and sad to see them all at once.

Love you baby girl.  For no matter how much I get angry at you.  Or how frustrated I get.  Or how big you get.  You will always be my baby girl.

To see other letters to our daughters, click here.