My story

Last Sunday at church, we were challenged to write our story in 100 words or less. I've spent all week thinking, struggling over this. Maybe not praying like I should about it. But all I could think of was....in process. My story is in process. It's not defined yet. I can not come up with any defined moment where suddenly, God was real to me, His sacrifice made sense. It's always been a bit of a mystery to me. One I accept, trust, believe, but still a mystery.

There were times I felt closer to God than I do now, where I felt more in tune with Him and His plan. I admit to that. I miss that. I want it back. I find myself angry. I wonder, can I be angry at Him? I love him. I trust His plan. I just don't understand His plan right now. I can't see where He is taking me. Yet I still follow. What does that say about me? That I'm not truly on board? Or my faith is stronger than I think?

So I'm in process. I'm trying to believe, to just trust and see where this is going. Where all these struggles are leading. I pray that I can get back to where I feel Him again. Because I miss it.