Auto bailout

OK. So in what world does this make sense.

3 big companies in financial trouble decide to fly to the capital to ask for money. So they decide to spend $20,000 EACH flying to the capital. To ask for money. Because they are going bankrupt. And they expect me to fork over MY money to keep them afloat? Are you KIDDING me? They would have had much more credibility and much more of my support if they had flown commercial, with the regular people, rather than trying to be snobbish big wigs and fly chartered. Come ON, think about it. What does that say about your financial finesse? $20,000 to fly private as opposed to $300 to fly commercial? No wonder you are in financial trouble. Get over yourself. Fly commercial.

Sorry, that's my rant for today. I just can't believe that.

Thanksgiving

Received this text below in an e-mail this morning and it just struck me. It's always been a struggle for me to be happy where I was at the time that I'm there. I always tend to look to tomorrow or yesterday for happiness, despite my desire to be satisfied and happy with where I am. I just had to share as it's one of the cries of my heart.

When I was four, I wished I could go to the first grade like Mike Munoz, who lived three doors down.

When I got into the first grade I wished I was in third, because you get to go on field trips.

When I was in third I wished I was in fifth, because you could be a safety patrol.

When I was in fifth I wished I was in sixth, because you get to go to Austin to see the capital.

When I was in sixth I wished I was in junior high, because you get to play tackle football.

When I was in junior high I spent Friday nights watching high school football under the lights, and high school cheerleaders bouncing up and down on the sidelines; and I wished I was in the tenth grade.

When I was in the tenth grade my face looked like an Eggo waffle; and my grades were circling the drain; and I wished I was already graduated and gone.

When I was a freshman in college I wished I was a sophomore so my fraternity brothers would stop rubbing my head for luck.

When I was a sophomore I wished I was a senior so I could be done with 8:00 classes and higher learning forever.

When I was a senior I thought maybe you have to get married for your life to work, so I did. Three months into marriage I wished I was single. Six months into marriage I was convinced that the secret to happiness is more money, so I tried. Two years into marriage, I thought if we had a baby life wou ld be happy. Once we had a baby I realized that I wouldn’t be the baby anymore, which made me wish I was the center of attention more than ever.

It’s easy to spend our life sailing toward the next buoy on the horizon. We bet everything on the new year, the next sale, the new house, the winning number, the better job, the right relationship…believing that if we ever reach it we’ll find what we’re looking for.

That is the story of my life until I was 45 and started realizing I’d spent 40 years wishing and waiting, rather than living.

This Thanksgiving take a quick inventory of what you have in your life now; not what you wish for. Let’s experience Thanksgiving in the present tense.

My story

Last Sunday at church, we were challenged to write our story in 100 words or less. I've spent all week thinking, struggling over this. Maybe not praying like I should about it. But all I could think of was....in process. My story is in process. It's not defined yet. I can not come up with any defined moment where suddenly, God was real to me, His sacrifice made sense. It's always been a bit of a mystery to me. One I accept, trust, believe, but still a mystery.

There were times I felt closer to God than I do now, where I felt more in tune with Him and His plan. I admit to that. I miss that. I want it back. I find myself angry. I wonder, can I be angry at Him? I love him. I trust His plan. I just don't understand His plan right now. I can't see where He is taking me. Yet I still follow. What does that say about me? That I'm not truly on board? Or my faith is stronger than I think?

So I'm in process. I'm trying to believe, to just trust and see where this is going. Where all these struggles are leading. I pray that I can get back to where I feel Him again. Because I miss it.