Total dork post

So if you are afraid to know how much of a dork I am...stop reading!

I am entirely, completely excited about this:



Yup. A new car seat.

You see...Elisa has been making do with a safe car seat, but one that causes Andrew and I to curse regularly. Well, not curse it literally, but every time we have to put the poor child in this car seat, it is world war 3. The buckle is hideously difficult to work and takes some very strong, coordinated hands to work. It feels "tight" on her when you are buckling her in but it's not quite as bad as it seems. You have to lift the handle JUST right when attaching it to the base, or else it doesn't latch properly. And you can't just leave it in the base to avoid that because trying to buckle Elisa in while in the car doesn't give you the necessary angle you need to buckle the dumb thing. And not only that but it takes someone with a degree in car seat buckling to get it buckled into the car properly. We had to take it to the fire station, have them attach it and it HAS NOT MOVED since. Piece of junk. If I ever figure out the name of the thing, I will write a scathing review to the manufacturer.

So yes. I HATE the old car seat. It was purchased in a rush due to being told the morning Elisa was released from the NICU that the seat we had would not work for her since she was so small. Never EVER again. Do you feel my disdain for this seat?

So when we embarked on our purchase of a new car seat, I asked around and asked my other mommy friends what one they recommended. And the most recommended car seat was this Britax one and I found what seemed to be a great price.




So enjoy my 'Tinker! This one ought to do you until you no longer need car seats. And for the price I paid for it, it darn well better!! :)

My first masterpiece

Daddy and I went to toddler time at the library today and this is what I brought home to mommy! It has it's special place right on the fridge for all to see. My mommy thinks it's pretty neat!

Elisa, meet Bess. Bess, meet Elisa.

Seriously. This fish is 5 times her size. But she thought it was the best thing ever! Bess is the 103 lb catfish at the Bass Pro Shop. While I'm not a hunter of any kind (and no offense to the hunters out there) and have a rather, well, dislike for it all, the Bass Pro Shop is a great place to take a youngster and allow her to explore. Within reason, of course. She had a great time walking around to the different animal displays and really liked the elevator. She didn't want to get off! We had to go back and pick her up because someone else wanted on. Overall, it was a great way to spend an hour or so on a lazy Saturday afternoon.

Of course...spending some quality time with her daddy never hurts.

Preparing for a preemie

***Disclaimer. This post is being written right before I am heading to bed. It is being written for the simple fact that I can't get this out of my head and if I don't write it, I will suffer through hours of going over it over and over again. I thought I'd just do a pre-emptive strike and write it now so, hopefully, I can get some rest.

The question was posed in my preemie parenting support group about how do you prepare for a preemie. This was, unfortunately, being asked by a mom who was currently experiencing pre-term labor at the extremely early time of 25 weeks. You just know the fear that prompted her to write that question.

And I wanted to help. She asked a few other questions that I was able to easily answer. But the answer to how to prepare for a preemie? I was stumped. How DO you prepare for a preemie?

I thought back to those first days on bed rest at the scary time of 26 weeks. At first, I asked questions. I researched. I thought about what it would be like. I googled. And I was scared to DEATH. Everything I found, everything I heard, everything I read told me that my baby, if it survived, would have nothing but challenges. Significant challenges. I could not find one story of a baby who survived with no lasting problems that was born as early as we feared mine would come. There was no comfort, no hope, no solace in researching and preparing myself for what could be.

So eventually, I stopped. I chose blissful ignorance. I told myself, I would make it to term. I would make it out of this hospital. I knew I wouldn't leave Phoenix but I would leave that hospital with my baby still in my belly and I would return to be induced. Because I wasn't having a preemie. As we all know, very well by now, that didn't happen.

So I guess the answer to the question of how do you prepare for a preemie is...you don't. Nothing can prepare you for the sudden end to your pregnancy. Nothing can prepare you for seeing your baby hooked up to machines. Nothing can prepare you for seeing your baby outside your body well before it was supposed to be and know it was still supposed to be in you. Floating in fluid. Kicking the crap out of your bladder, lungs, ribs, whatever. Nothing can prepare you for seeing your baby in that first moment and knowing beyond a doubt that you FAILED. (Of course that last part is an absolute LIE but I'm fairly certain there is not one preemie mom out there who hasn't told herself that on many occasions.)

I hope if you take anything from Elisa's story, if you are reading this, I hope that you find HOPE. That if you are one that is searching for that comfort and solace because you are sitting in a bed in a hospital in imminent danger of delivering your baby too early, that you see my baby and see that yes, your baby can survive. And it can thrive. And it can prove those doctors and those statistics wrong and thumb her nose at them as she leaves them in the dust.

Shoulda been birthday party

One year ago today, shoulda been our birthday.

As you know, it wasn't. But this date will always be a date I'll remember. I really don't think I'll ever "forget" it even though it really has no special event to it.

But, thanks to a comment from a friend, that said Elisa has two birthdays..and were we making her a cake...I thought, why not? She couldn't have cake at her birthday party or on her birthday...so let's give her a "shoulda been birthday" cake.

So we did!









We remained remarkably clean! I was expecting all out chaos and messiness. I guess she inherited my odd compulsion to NOT get myself messy.

We did, however, enjoy the cake. Even if it did mean a very cranky, non-afternoon napping baby.

How Preemie Moms are Chosen

I've seen this before, but saw it again today on my preemie parenting board and just thought I'd share.

~*~How Preemie Moms Are Chosen~*~
(Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.

"Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Word diary and more snow

Since I tend to use this as a virtual baby book, this is going to be just a standard "what is Elisa saying at 14 months old."

She has a list of a few words:

Dada
Mama
Dog
Ball
Ba-ba (bottle)
Uh-oh
No
Up
Mouth
Ow
Baby

That's about all she'll say regularly. Sometimes she'll sign "more" but not consistently.

And just to leave you with this: