Food is medicine. And life stops until you eat.

There is nothing more frustrating than watching your child and begging her to eat.  As parents, there are many things we can't control - but one thing you never expect to lose the ability to do is to encourage your child to eat.  Food is life.  It's what gives you energy.  Fuels your body and mind.  It is essential to your survival.

Today was her first day back in school after break and a new lunch requirement.  She had been able to sneak around the office staff due to their multiple tasks they had to accomplish.  She had been caught a few times throwing her lunches away.  So she had to eat in the classroom, one on one with a teacher.

And again, she tried to hide her chicken and chips in her trash.

Now - this is not unusual I'm told for kids with eating disorders.  She is not a bad kid.  Anything but.  She is smart, sweet, unique.  But to her, food has become the enemy.  Food leaves her with such anxiety that she thinks she is preserving her life by not eating it.  And she will do anything to get out of eating.

And it is apparently painful.  This process of getting her to eat.  More than just emotionally painful, but physically.  I had my own panic attack this morning and if this is how she lives each and every day.  I didn't want to eat most of the day.  But I did.  I knew it was vital.  More so now that she is watching.

Food is medicine.  And life stops until you eat.  In more ways than just sitting at the table.  And more than for just her.

Food is medicine.  And life stops.  And I just want to scream at her to just eat!  Just eat and this will all be over.  Just eat and you can go back to being a kid.  And the joyful, imaginative play.  Just eat.  I can't live without you.  And I will not let you starve yourself to death.