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So far #5 is winning on facebook. What's your choice??
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Family photos
As a part of my birthday gift, my mom arranged for a good family friend to take some photos of the three of us, and we just have to pick one that she will blow up and get printed and framed for us. Below are the unedited photos, I just have to figure out which one to pick. I love elements of them all, and that means I can't pick a favorite. I'd love to know which one you like the best! If you could comment and say it could really help me narrow it down so I can edit as appropriate as I'm just too lazy to do them all. :)
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
#9
So far #5 is winning on facebook. What's your choice??
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
#9
So far #5 is winning on facebook. What's your choice??
Thursday, July 14, 2011
16 weeks & tummy bug?
Another week down, another shot down. And yes, I did again experience dizziness, confusion and exhaustion immediately following and for most of the rest of the day. Dehydration? Impossible. I've drank pretty close to a gallon of water a day since they told me last week the symptoms were from dehydration. So after complaining about it again, a preemie mom friend of mine googled and let's just see what she found:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/240436-progesterone-supplement-side-effects/
Most interesting was the 4th paragraph.
"Central Nervous System Side Effects
Headaches affect around 31 percent of women taking progesterone supplements, and dizziness affects 15 percent of women. Progesterone can cause tiredness or severe drowsiness. Progesterone can act like a brain anesthetic, producing sedating and hypnotic effects, according to Women's Health Resource. In high doses, progesterone can reduce epileptic seizures and reduce preterm labor, Mood swings, irritability, anxiety, forgetfulness and impaired concentration and insomnia can also occur."
Really? Dizziness affects 15%? Mood swings? Irritability? Anxiety? Impaired concentration? Insomnia? Hello, you should put my photo next to this. Ever since I received that first shot, I've noticed the insomnia, irritability. Increased anxiety (ie FLASHBACKS). Headaches.
There are more side effects but these really are the main ones I've been dealing with. Just cracked me up, I don't think the nurse I called actually even really asked. They just assumed the symptoms were dehydration. The good news is that these will fade as my body gets used to the increased hormone.
Here's the 16 week update:
Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.
Not much more to say than that on this baby. Random cravings, and regular parties are commencing. One woke me up at 4am. Must say my initial annoyance at being woken up that early went away very fast when I realized it was because I was getting the snot kicked out of me. :)
And on to the tummy bug. Yup. Another one. At least this child only seems to get tummy bugs and ear infections. Woke up this morning to a nice present in her crib. Unfortunately, Daddy has it to, so that leaves me to care for both. Going rather well since both of them are spending the day sleeping lol! Just hope this goes by fast. I can't afford to get sick. *sigh*
http://www.livestrong.com/article/240436-progesterone-supplement-side-effects/
Most interesting was the 4th paragraph.
"Central Nervous System Side Effects
Headaches affect around 31 percent of women taking progesterone supplements, and dizziness affects 15 percent of women. Progesterone can cause tiredness or severe drowsiness. Progesterone can act like a brain anesthetic, producing sedating and hypnotic effects, according to Women's Health Resource. In high doses, progesterone can reduce epileptic seizures and reduce preterm labor, Mood swings, irritability, anxiety, forgetfulness and impaired concentration and insomnia can also occur."
Really? Dizziness affects 15%? Mood swings? Irritability? Anxiety? Impaired concentration? Insomnia? Hello, you should put my photo next to this. Ever since I received that first shot, I've noticed the insomnia, irritability. Increased anxiety (ie FLASHBACKS). Headaches.
There are more side effects but these really are the main ones I've been dealing with. Just cracked me up, I don't think the nurse I called actually even really asked. They just assumed the symptoms were dehydration. The good news is that these will fade as my body gets used to the increased hormone.
Here's the 16 week update:
Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.
Not much more to say than that on this baby. Random cravings, and regular parties are commencing. One woke me up at 4am. Must say my initial annoyance at being woken up that early went away very fast when I realized it was because I was getting the snot kicked out of me. :)
And on to the tummy bug. Yup. Another one. At least this child only seems to get tummy bugs and ear infections. Woke up this morning to a nice present in her crib. Unfortunately, Daddy has it to, so that leaves me to care for both. Going rather well since both of them are spending the day sleeping lol! Just hope this goes by fast. I can't afford to get sick. *sigh*
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Random Simple pleasures
*Driving on the open road with the sunroof open, music blaring, smelling the fresh air and sun shining on your shoulders.
*Listening to your daughter laugh with pure joy while playing with her.
*Hearing "I love you" come from her little mouth and having her arms wrapped around your neck.
*Feeling the muted kicks of this new little one.
*Reminders of how far we have come and how blessed we are
(I often forget how small she was. Seeing her head in relation to my hand is just a wow moment.)
*Listening to your daughter laugh with pure joy while playing with her.
*Hearing "I love you" come from her little mouth and having her arms wrapped around your neck.
*Feeling the muted kicks of this new little one.
*Reminders of how far we have come and how blessed we are
(I often forget how small she was. Seeing her head in relation to my hand is just a wow moment.)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Flashbacks
So, I thought at 15 weeks I'd just be coasting, right? After all, this was the point in the pregnancy with Elisa where, well, not like everything went right but the main fear of miscarriage was gone and now it was just coasting until the baby came. So what is there to worry about at 15 weeks? And I have a game plan in place. Right?
Instead, it seems like they are escalating. I'm frustrated. I can't seem to count this pregnancy down as if it's "normal." Instead, those odd milestones hit me in the face.
5 more weeks until "halfway" but really, I'm technically already halfway through Elisa's pregnancy.
9 more weeks until viability.
11 more weeks until I was admitted.
14 more weeks until I delivered.
22 more weeks until term.
24 more weeks until delivery.
As much as I try not to think about these numbers, they insinuate their way into my mind when I least expect them. Those images flash into my mind. What happened last time at this stage? Where was I? What was I doing?
I don't think it helps that the due dates between the two are just two weeks apart. So much of what I was thinking/doing/feeling was happening at just about the same time.
So I enjoy it while I can. While these thoughts are blissfully silent. I contemplate names and big girl room colors and ideas for Elisa. But I'd be lying if I said these thoughts weren't far from the forefront. I just hope and pray that they fade as time goes along.
Instead, it seems like they are escalating. I'm frustrated. I can't seem to count this pregnancy down as if it's "normal." Instead, those odd milestones hit me in the face.
5 more weeks until "halfway" but really, I'm technically already halfway through Elisa's pregnancy.
9 more weeks until viability.
11 more weeks until I was admitted.
14 more weeks until I delivered.
22 more weeks until term.
24 more weeks until delivery.
As much as I try not to think about these numbers, they insinuate their way into my mind when I least expect them. Those images flash into my mind. What happened last time at this stage? Where was I? What was I doing?
I don't think it helps that the due dates between the two are just two weeks apart. So much of what I was thinking/doing/feeling was happening at just about the same time.
So I enjoy it while I can. While these thoughts are blissfully silent. I contemplate names and big girl room colors and ideas for Elisa. But I'd be lying if I said these thoughts weren't far from the forefront. I just hope and pray that they fade as time goes along.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
15 weeks and p17
Let me say OUCH!
The actual shot wasn't so bad, but the after effects were. I'm STILL sore today. My back seized up after a while and sleeping was difficult. But oh well, it is ALL worth it for that full term baby in December.
And it was rather amusing. The nurse giving me the shot was asking about the co-pay, etc for the shot and how much it cost. I told her and she got all excited. Handed me a form from Ther-RX saying they could help me out with the costs and probably get me the shot for free! Poor girl didn't realize who Ther-RX was. When I asked her if that was Makena, she said yes and the rep had just been there. I explained to her the drama around Makena and how I would NOT be giving any of my money or business to that company lol. She understood entirely and entirely dropped it.
I did also have another effect that I thought was a side effect of the medication. After the shot I became extremely tired, confused and dizzy. I mean I was typing gibberish, even though the words in my mind were coming out right and couldn't figure out why the words looked funny on the screen. Turns out, I was dehydrated. Dehydrated!? How much freaking water do I need to drink to stay hydrated?
So we have made it to 15 weeks. And I do think I've felt kicking already! Seems odd with it being sooo late until I felt it with Elisa. I'm hoping this means the placenta is not anterior and I'll get loads of movement from this baby.
Development at 15 weeks:
Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")
In other news, Elisa has definitely learned manipulation. She is genuinely terrified of thunder. This I do not doubt. Her reaction is to true to it and every time. If you leave her to try to work through it herself, it escalates her panic. So it's easier to just pick her up and comfort her. I'm sure she'll out grow it in due time.
However...she seems to have made the connection between mommy and daddy think she's scared so they will pick me up. So last night, she didn't want to sleep yet. She sat in her crib screaming at the top of her lungs (Thunder! Thunder!) in between gut wrenching sobs. It wasn't thundering. It wasn't even cloudy....I went in to settle her back down and she tried desperately to get out of the crib. Grabbed onto my neck with a death grip that it took a bit to untangle and lay her back down, to where she tried to get back up again. This went on for 30 minutes....stubborn butt.
The actual shot wasn't so bad, but the after effects were. I'm STILL sore today. My back seized up after a while and sleeping was difficult. But oh well, it is ALL worth it for that full term baby in December.
And it was rather amusing. The nurse giving me the shot was asking about the co-pay, etc for the shot and how much it cost. I told her and she got all excited. Handed me a form from Ther-RX saying they could help me out with the costs and probably get me the shot for free! Poor girl didn't realize who Ther-RX was. When I asked her if that was Makena, she said yes and the rep had just been there. I explained to her the drama around Makena and how I would NOT be giving any of my money or business to that company lol. She understood entirely and entirely dropped it.
I did also have another effect that I thought was a side effect of the medication. After the shot I became extremely tired, confused and dizzy. I mean I was typing gibberish, even though the words in my mind were coming out right and couldn't figure out why the words looked funny on the screen. Turns out, I was dehydrated. Dehydrated!? How much freaking water do I need to drink to stay hydrated?
So we have made it to 15 weeks. And I do think I've felt kicking already! Seems odd with it being sooo late until I felt it with Elisa. I'm hoping this means the placenta is not anterior and I'll get loads of movement from this baby.
Development at 15 weeks:
Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")
In other news, Elisa has definitely learned manipulation. She is genuinely terrified of thunder. This I do not doubt. Her reaction is to true to it and every time. If you leave her to try to work through it herself, it escalates her panic. So it's easier to just pick her up and comfort her. I'm sure she'll out grow it in due time.
However...she seems to have made the connection between mommy and daddy think she's scared so they will pick me up. So last night, she didn't want to sleep yet. She sat in her crib screaming at the top of her lungs (Thunder! Thunder!) in between gut wrenching sobs. It wasn't thundering. It wasn't even cloudy....I went in to settle her back down and she tried desperately to get out of the crib. Grabbed onto my neck with a death grip that it took a bit to untangle and lay her back down, to where she tried to get back up again. This went on for 30 minutes....stubborn butt.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Fall apart
I heard this song on the radio this morning on my way to my first p17 shot and it struck a chord.
It's so true. Never did I feel God more than when I was laying in that bed not knowing if my child would live or die if she came now. Never did I feel more peace than I did at that moment when I knew the fight was over. And something that defies so much logic can only be God.
"'Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart."
It's so true. Never did I feel God more than when I was laying in that bed not knowing if my child would live or die if she came now. Never did I feel more peace than I did at that moment when I knew the fight was over. And something that defies so much logic can only be God.
"'Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart."
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Odd dreams?
I don't necessarily know if dreams are ever "foreshadowing" of events to come. I'm more along the lines of it's telling me what I'm worrying about.
So last night, when I finally got to sleep, I dreamed that I was in pre-term labor again. In Arizona and in the hospital. The doctor who was my primary care peri, and is now retired, came and took me out of the hospital, mag drip and all. Placed me into a personal car, which my mother was driving, to take me to a different hospital so that he could "try again" to get me to term. As if it bothered him that I didn't with Elisa. I woke up after he took me back to the original hospital because it was better for me than the one he was trying to sneak me into anyway.
I guess despite all my laid back, it is what it is, thoughts and feelings, I'm more worried about it than even I realize? It kind of was brought to the fore front as well when I received an initial hiccup to the p17 shots. The insurance company denied the initial request to have the shots brought to me and given to me at home. When I first heard the news, it made me wonder will they deny them all together? And it really upset me. Turns out I'll just have to drive to the doctor's office once a week. Rather depressing start to a week that was followed by a great holiday weekend.
So last night, when I finally got to sleep, I dreamed that I was in pre-term labor again. In Arizona and in the hospital. The doctor who was my primary care peri, and is now retired, came and took me out of the hospital, mag drip and all. Placed me into a personal car, which my mother was driving, to take me to a different hospital so that he could "try again" to get me to term. As if it bothered him that I didn't with Elisa. I woke up after he took me back to the original hospital because it was better for me than the one he was trying to sneak me into anyway.
I guess despite all my laid back, it is what it is, thoughts and feelings, I'm more worried about it than even I realize? It kind of was brought to the fore front as well when I received an initial hiccup to the p17 shots. The insurance company denied the initial request to have the shots brought to me and given to me at home. When I first heard the news, it made me wonder will they deny them all together? And it really upset me. Turns out I'll just have to drive to the doctor's office once a week. Rather depressing start to a week that was followed by a great holiday weekend.
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